


Fucking Bahamut

by blue_pointer



Series: A Glorious Retelling [23]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Dragons, Episode: c01e048 Into the Frostweald, Fangirls, Gen, Gilmore is gay and tired, Humor, Metallic Dragon!Gilmore, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Oaths & Vows, Protective Older Brothers, Sarcasm, Sibling Rivalry, Swearing, keeping secrets, when your cover almost gets blown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: Why Gilmore would not be caught dead in VasselheimorIn which Gilmore meets Kima for the first time, and she nearly blows his cover.
Relationships: Shaun Gilmore & Kima
Series: A Glorious Retelling [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	Fucking Bahamut

Knowing now that Vax’ildan would not be back today, either, Gilmore woke up somewhat depressed. Not another day alone, trapped in bed. Perhaps Zahra would stop by for tea again (but hopefully not with that wretched Kashaw this time). 

  
  
It was nearing mid-day when Pike came running into his room with the news Gilmore had been expecting all day. “I have to go!” she said. “You’ll be alright, right? Will you be?” 

“Is something the matter?” Gilmore asked, out of politeness. 

“Oh no! It’s just that--well, the gang sent a letter, with a lady we helped once a long time ago, her name is Elowen--did Vax ever tell you about her?--oh, nevermind. They want me to join them; they’re going to go find another Vestige and then save Westruun from Grog’s herd.”

Pike’s list of Vox Machina’s tasks sounded more complex than what Vax’ildan had told him. Gilmore’s heart sank. “That sounds like it could take an awfully long while…”

“I know, that’s why I asked Kima to look in on you.” 

Gilmore saw the proverbial red flag go up. “Kima?” 

“Oh, she’s our friend from Vasselheim. She’s a paladin, too. I’m sure the two of you will get along.” Pike smiled brightly.

Gilmore began to connect the dots. Paladin...Vasselheim... _Oh no._

Just then, the halfling with warm brown skin he’d seen tackle Allura two nights ago walked in. “Oh hey, I was just talking about you,” Pike said. “Kima, let me introduce you to our friend Gilmore--”

Before Pike could finish, Gilmore’s worst nightmare began to play out: the halfling’s eyes widened, and she rushed to his bed, falling to one knee. “Holy shit! I mean--oh crap-- lord! My lord, I didn’t know. Your forgiveness. If I’d known, I would’ve come sooner.”

Pike was confused. “Oh, do you--you already know one another?” 

Kima looked back at Pike, still kneeling at Gilmore’s side like an acolyte. “Pike, why didn’t you tell me that you--”

“No!” Gilmore cut Kima off loudly. “None of that, no.” He glared at the platinum paladin, shaking his head and putting a finger to his lips, doing his best to shush her.

“You don’t know one another?” Pike asked. 

“It’s quite possible we have a friend in common,” Gilmore said, quickly. “I’m sure we’ll get along fabulously, now off you pop! Tell everyone I said hello. Give Vax’ildan a hug for me.” 

“I will!” Pike smiled, excited. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” 

Kima nodded, solemnly. “Now that I’m here, Gildmore will be good as new in no time.” 

“Oh, but that’s not how you say his--” Pike began to correct her. 

“Thank you, Mistress Pike,” Gilmore cut in again. “Travel safely, please.” 

“Will do!” Pike said, giving him a salute before turning and leaving the room. “Bye, Kima!” she called back as an afterthought.

As soon as Pike left, Kima went back to fangirling at his bedside. “I can’t believe it. I never thought I’d get to meet one of you in the flesh. Much less a gold!” 

Gilmore closed his eyes, feeling fully his age. “ _Fuck_.” He used Telekinesis to slam the door shut before anyone else could come by and hear. 

“I’m really sorry,” Kima continued, non-stop. “I had no idea there was royalty here in the castle who needed my help. I feel like this isn’t even real. Those assholes back at the Platinum Sanctuary are not gonna believe this--”

“Do NOT do this to me.” Gilmore hadn’t lived in this body for decades just to get outed by a thrice damned paladin of Bahamut. 

“Honestly, I had no idea these idiots were in the company of a metallic dragon. Maybe I would’ve taken them a little more seriously…”

“Please, please.” Gilmore rubbed his forehead, feeling a migraine coming on. “This can’t be happening.” 

“You know, you’re lucky they brought me here,” Kima said, rising to her feet and looking around the room. “It’s no wonder Pike couldn’t get your wounds to close up.” 

“What do you mean?” Gilmore asked, hardly caring by this point. He was tired. So very tired. 

“Well, you’re lying all over the damn room.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Was this some sort of remark about his size?

“You partly transformed, right? Oh, I bet it was when you fought Thordak. Allie said you did that--it makes so much more sense now.” Gilmore watched her, quietly. “But I mean, yeah, if you break your human shell, and your true form is out of it at the time, it’s not gonna just go back in, is it? Well, not from any healing Pike knows how to do, anyway.” 

Shit. That actually made sense. 

“But don’t worry. Bahamut will show me how to fix it. You’re with family now, so don’t worry.” 

“Fucking Bahamut,” Gilmore said, rolling his eyes. Why did it always come back to that sacrosanctimonious ass?

Kima suddenly clutched the platinum pendant she wore, her expression distant. “He says, ‘Love you, too, little brother.’” Once the words were out of her mouth, Kima fell silent, looking stunned. 

Gilmore had had it with today, and it was barely noon. “Can you not go a single century without interfering in my life?!--nevermind, don’t answer that.” 

He watched Kima listen again for the voice of her so-called god. She shook her head. “He’s gone.”

Gilmore sighed. “Yes, he would be.” 

Kima stared at him in wonder, afraid to look him in the eye, and for once, Gilmore did not appreciate it. “Holy crap, lord. I honestly had no idea. I feel like a jerk, living here for days without coming to pay homage.” 

Gilmore knew he had to do something about this, and fast, or his life here would be over. “Kneel, Lady Kima.” She did so, obediently. “I require your solemn vow, this instant, that you will not repeat a word of this to another living soul. I charge you with keeping the secret of my true nature, upon your life. Swear to me.”

Kima bowed her head. “I swear. Your secret is safe with me.” 

“Hear my words. That pompous ass may trust you, but I take vows made to me very seriously.” 

“Yes, lord.” 

“Very well.” Gilmore sighed. “Please rise.”

“Yes, lord.”

“And for gods’ sake, please stop calling me that.” 

“Yes, my--wait, what should I call you then?” Kima looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since she’d played mouthpiece to his meddling elder brother. 

“Just Gilmore will be fine.” 

“Choosing a pseudonym so close to your true name... that’s brave.” 

“Perhaps it’s just foolish,” he said, suddenly very tired after even this brief conversation.

“No. You fought a chromatic one on one, and you continue to stick around with these idiots...on second thought, maybe foolish is right.” 

He snorted a laugh. “Take my hand, paladin.” 

She reached out, still in awe, but gripped his forearm firmly to seal her pledge. “It’s my honor, Gilmore.” 

“Give it time,” Gilmore said.


End file.
